(Chuck Norris is a rolemodel.)
FAKE "FACT" SHEET ABOUT MR. NORRIS
Ok, so people keep sending me this new “fact” sheet about Mr. Norris. I really don’t know what to say, other than this is incredibly stupid. The individuals who send me the information probably think I will find it humorous since I run Chuck Norris World. But I don’t at all. Chuck Norris isn’t a made up person or just some movie icon who does ridiculous actions of amazement. He is a real person and a good individual. For those of you who don’t know about this fact sheet, I have included it below with my comments.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
This is a complete lie. For one, I highly doubt anybody has tears that can cure cancer. And I am sure Mr. Norris has cried before. He may have cried when he was honored as an 8 th degree black belt.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
I highly doubt that even Chuck has a roundhouse kick that fast. He is human after all. And Amelia Earhart disappeared over the ocean, for Chuck to hit her in the past he would have to have been in the same location in the present. And I don’t think he was somewhere over the ocean.
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
Are you serious?
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Mr. Norris has not sold his soul to the devil. In fact Chuck has been a speaker at many Christian gatherings and his popular tv show “Walker Texas Ranger” has many Christian elements that a man who sold his soul to the devil would nor promote.
Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.
Chuck Norris most likely does not give AIDS to anybody. Why would he give away such a horrible disease when he promotes the Make A Wish Foundation, helping terminally ill children?
Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't **** with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.
I’m not even going to respond to this.
When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
If Chuck Norris where to play Oregon Trail on the Apple 2e it is doubtable he would do any of this. I do think he would be good at this game due to his experience as McKenna in the 1996 film, Forest Warrior.
So to all of you out there who think it is funny or humorous to post this crap about Mr. Norris. Please think again. It is immature and childish.
Sincerely,
Nick Martinolich
Founder of Chuck Norris World